Friday, February 13, 2009

My Son's First Letter For Me


Gabby was just four and a half years old when he wrote this. And I remember too well the reason.

Gabby and Sunday were playing in our living room and I noticed that they were kind of fighting over a toy. I approached them and kindly asked them to share their toys with each other. But they wouldn’t. And so I just told Gabby to give in to his younger sister’s whim as he was the older one. I also comforted Sunday because she was already crying at that time. Gabby dropped all his toys and sulked in one corner. I approached him and told him that Sunday is still so young and that as her older brother, he should take care of his sister, not fight with her. I offered other toys which he can play and other activities just so he would divert his attention to them. I tried to console him but to no avail. So I left.

After a while, he approached me, to my relief, because I thought he understood what I just explained. But to my dismay, he handed me that letter and left. The letter said: Mommy, I’m very very mad because you are with Sunday, not me.

I was teary-eyed! It struck me really hard! It was like a slap on my face! Was I being unfair in my treatment to them? Was I being too partial to my girl that I forget my boy’s feelings? I then asked Gabby why he wrote that and he said, “You’re always with Sunday. You love Sunday more than you love me…” then I hugged him. And with that hug came a silent promise that I will try to be always fair and show that I love them equally.

Looking back, I am so grateful that he wrote that letter. It was a wake-up call for me. I am also grateful because at such a very young age, he can express his feelings well already. And I’m glad that until now, two and a half years later, I haven’t received any hate letter from him yet. :) Now, he only gives me loveletters and cards!

19 comments:

pehpot said...

he is such a smart for his age..

this is what we do
when thin gs get a little out of hand


Make or Break

Mom of Four said...

Wow, at a young age he can feel favoritism. In our house, our rules when it comes to our children, the big ones give in to the little ones. Right now, Roan is the one who needs to give in to his younger siblings. We make sure that we explain to him that they are babies and he is not supposed to fight with them, instead, he needs to take care of them. He always say that he only loves Alex and not Wrozlie, since Wrozlie destroys his toys. I tell him that he does love his sister, and he needs to play with her too.

SASSY MOM said...

I can feel for you, my eldest always does that. That's why I always PEP Talk her especially she's a girl.

Ang hirap no? Anyway, at least he's expressive. that way you can address the concern.

Happy Heart's Day, Mommy!

Jes said...

argh! that's so sakit nga for amom like us noh....sana sabihin dn sakin ng mga ank ko feelings nila at wag itago...youre lucky at ganun ang baby mo. Atleast alam mo feleing nya d ba? naku sana nmn fair ang tingin ng mga ank ko sa treatment ko sa kanila hahahah hirap ng ganya! =)
mine is up - http://jeslising.blogspot.com/2009/02/mommy-moments-7-love-letters.html

Jes said...

ang saya nga ahaahha! ang daming smiey pinahirapan ako magbilang! =)
salamat sa dalaw! =0 happy mommy momnts!
re sa sales, thanks! oo nga sana tuloy tuloy n dis year...sa hirap ng buhay masuerte p dn ako nakabenta ehehe =)

Mary Ann Moreno-binuya said...

very touchy! happy valentine's

misty said...

My daughter feel that way too when I am taking her brother's side. It hurts when one time, she told her dad that she wants another Mommy. I cried, when she saw me crying and Daddy was consoling me and she told me she was just kidding when she told her dad that... It crushed my heart though..

Genejosh said...

am glad you shared this...this will help me in the future how to deal with this kind of situation

Lynne Campbell said...

aren't they so smart!

I wanted to invite you to my new meme.
"Friday Show and Tell-The Parents Edition"
http://seekinghisface2.blogspot.com/2009/02/friday-show-and-tell-parents-edition.html

I'd love for you to join us this week...
See you there.

Lynne

Clarissa said...

I was teary-eyed,too,Mommy Beth!Ang ginagawa ko naman pag nakaka-feel ng favoritism ang panganay ko,I just hug her and say that there's no favoritism because I love both of them too much.

Dee said...

Oh, na touch ako doon! He's smart, ha. Happy Valentines Day! :)

Twinkie said...

Aw! Beth, come to think of it, Gabby is like that because he knows he could tell ANYTHING to you. He is very sweet and sensitive. :)

eden said...

hehehe.. the same with my daughter when I spent too much time with my son. I just said to her nicely that you are 10 yrs old now and your bro is 5 yrs old and he needs longer time with mum and she understand and since then no more accusations..lolz

Advance happy valentines.

i will add you then. tc

Enchie said...

I still find it sweet... he was able to express his feelings and you're a very loving mom.

Babette said...

This reminded me of the time when my daughter complained that my husband and I love her brother more. :( Of course we had to explain that it's not true, etc.
I didn't have time to look for my daughter's valentine card so I wrote a letter to my kids. Do drop by when you have time. :)

Chris said...

wow... its great that he was able to express himself even at his young age....

Evan's Mom said...

He's a smart young boy and sweet too. I had to pass this week MM, not good in writing a love letter :(

earthlingorgeous said...

awwwww... I guess he was really hurt to not have you on a Sunday.

I think this is still a love letter! I think it's really sweet it tells how much he loves you!

Happy Valentines.

Earthlingorgeous

Jona said...

right, the letter still means he loves you. it's good he was able to express his feelings. mataas ang emotional IQ ng anak mo.
happy heart's day!